Beyond the Beyond:
99 White Balloons
Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a Chinese spy balloon.
China’s “weather balloon” (now where have we heard that term before? *coughROSWELLcough*) made headlines in early February when it was spotted flying high above Alaska, western Canada, and other parts of this great nation before being shot down by a $20,000 AIM-9X Sidewinder missile off the coast of Surfside Beach, South Carolina.
The people cheered, China sneered. They claimed it was an overreaction on the part of the U.S. “It’s just a gall darn civilian airship on a meteorological mission, for Mao’s sake,” said one fine citizen working for the state-controlled media. As he finished his sentence, his social credit score climbed six whole points. The thing is, no one much trusts China anymore. Their handling of intellectual property is abhorrent, and their unfair trade practices are simply not cool. There was one other reason I can’t seem to think of right now. Oh, yeah… they introduced the world to Tik Tok.
Canada and the U.S. have been staying busy shooting down these UFOs (unidentified floating objects) over Michigan, the Yukon Territory and Alaska the last few weeks. It seems once we noticed one, well the whole sky was alive with those turkeys.
A U.S. Air Force general overseeing North American airspace was asked if he thought the fluffy little visitors were extraterrestrial in origin, and he replied that he would not rule out aliens just yet, deferring to U.S. intelligence experts. This is the world we are living in.
Before I get to this next part, let me be perfectly clear: China spies on the U.S. We spy on China. Russia spies on North Korea and China. North Korea spies on its own citizens. We do that, too. In fact, we spy on everyone. Open a new window and look up Project Moby Dick.
Back to our regularly scheduled paragraph. Do you remember a few years ago when our government slow dripped blurry UFO videos for a few months in a row? When something like that happens, it’s best to look at the motive behind the motive. Could it be that after seventy years of extreme secrecy and lies on the topic, they just decided out of the kindness of their hearts to finally admit that we indeed are being visited by little grey men?
Or maybe they want tax dollars for the newly formed Space Force. I should put newly formed in quotations. My conspiracy-minded brothers and sisters will know what I mean. Open another window and look up Gary McKinnon. The idea is that we’ll be so worried about our airspace being invaded that we’ll gladly hand over any extra cash that might be lying around, and maybe even a few of our rights while we’re at it. It worked with the “weapons of mass destruction” in Iraq. See, that one definitely needed quotations.
It could have been a sort of twilight language designed to send other countries a message as tensions heated up during the Trump presidency. “Boy, we got stuff you wouldn’t believe over here. Stuff that would knock your socks off. Stuff that would boil your eyeballs.” Look for the message behind the message.
Let’s get back to the balloons. It seems hard to believe that with all the doodads and gizmos we have staring up at the sky, it only took a couple o’ dudes in Montana to spot that first one. Maybe those dudes weren’t who they said they were. Shoot, now we’re really starting to go down the rabbit hole.
What would be the benefit of letting a balloon drift just a little longer than we might let it otherwise? Maybe it’s some seed planting to get the U.S. population disliking China even more than they already do. Y’know, for Tik Tok. Or maybe getting everyone’s feathers in a ruffle might come in handy before Taiwan gets invaded in 2027.
It’s getting late here. And it’s snowing. Excuse me while I adjust my tinfoil hat and continue to binge watch season eighteen of Ancient Aliens.
Oh, and it’s nice to meet you.
Have you had a sighting? Text 702-875-1848 or message @beyondthebeyond1 on Instagram
– Tanner Rush