BREAKING NEWS
According to vice chair special councilwoman April A. Fulsch, the city finally has word about what will be going into one of the two vacant Kmart buildings in town (this one being the non-controversial Kmart next to Vons) and is ready to share it. After years of wondering, the answers are finally here. And yes, we said answers.
We sat down with April at the Wanaaha Casino over a plate of loaded potato skins and a couple of Diet Cokes. Like our owner Jesse Steele, the tater skins are always the perfect combination of crispy and tender.
“We haven’t had much interest in what’s going into the Kmart building,” said April. “In fact, we were surprised to hear almost no rumors at all. But the businesses that wanted to go into that building were just too good to pass up.”
“So what’s really going into the building?” I asked. “Give it to me straight. I can take it.”
She paused, holding a golden and crispy shell above a bowl of waiting sour cream, a layer of cheese enveloping it like a warm, golden blanket. The Wanaaha, by the way, has a wonderful selection of not only appetizers, but some of the best burgers in town. Not to mention incredible service.
April paused for a moment, probably thinking about whether she should order another round of skins since I had eaten most of them. And then she spoke:
“A Chick-fil-A. Inside of a Tractor Supply.” She bit down, a soft smile appearing from the delectable symphony of textures and tastes. “Inside of a Target.” I nearly fell out of my chair.
So there you have it, Inyo and Mono Counties. The secret is out.
And also, obviously… April Fools’.
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